Can anyone ever really forget past hurts? I'm not talking about forgiving, I mean forgetting. The old saying, forgive and forget surely does not really mean forget. I think it means, forgive and then don't bring it up in conversation again. It seems the harder I try to forget, the better my memory becomes. Consciously trying to forget seems to cement the memory. Forgetting is counter-intuitive for me. We survive and thrive, at least in part, because of our ability to remember the past and plan for the future. So how is it that some people have the pleasure of suppressing memories too painful to face? There are times when I think a bottle of wine would do me a world of good. I hear that memories can be lost in wine. What would be left of me once the memories are washed away? Years of my life would vanish with those memories. No, better to remember and be whole--happiness, sadness, pain, and joy. All of these, for the days of wine and roses are not long. "You remember how it really was? You and me and booze--a threesome." Joe Clay, Days of Wine and Roses, 1962.
Vitae Summa Brevis Spem Nos Vetat Incobare Longam
- They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
- Love and desire and hate;
- I think they have no portion in us after
- We pass the gate.
- They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
- Out of a misty dream
- Our path emerges for a while, then closes
- Within a dream.
Ernest Dawson, 1867-1900
Vitae Summa Brevis Spem Nos Vetat Incobare Longam, Latin for "The brief sum of life forbids us the hope of enduring long."