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18 August 2013

Jack Tried to Hire A Crackhead Hitman

Jack sent email to Martha from his job every day. Usually he was complaining about management or an employee or he was pressuring Martha to write more articles to earn some money so he could buy beer on his way home. Martha often worried that Jack would get into trouble at work for sending confidential documents from his job to her email, but she kept her worries to herself. 

Recently, Jack had been sending complaining emails about "snitch ass motherfuckers" at work. She figured he was being reported to human resources again for his behavior. She knew that he was coercing women at work to buy him food and give him money, but she did not know he was involved in more sinister and criminal activity.

Sunday mornings were stressful in Martha's house. Jack paced the floor, cursing the Christians for Sunday Blue Laws, his hands shaking from the DTs. He checked the time over and over, waiting for 1:00 PM when the convenience store on the corner could sell beer. 

"Fucking Christians!" Jack spat. "Why the fuck can't I buy a beer before one o'clock? Goddamn hypocrites. I'm gonna see most of them at the liquor store after they get through praising their white Jesus! Fuck!"

"It's just another hour, Jack." Martha said. "Surely you can wait one hour for a beer."

"I shouldn't have to wait!" He shouted.

Jack had it bad today. His hands were shaking and he was drenched in sweat. Martha noticed the whites of his eyes were yellow and blood shot. She thought perhaps he would die from liver failure, but she wasn't about to pin her hopes for freedom on his demise. Evil people have a way of surviving against the odds. Martha busied herself playing a video game with Mikey and tried to tune out Jack's ranting and raving in the background. Later, Martha heard the door slam. She peeked out the window and saw Jack getting into the car. He was on his way to the convenience store to buy beer, the one he called The Arab Store

Jack was gone longer than usual this time. She figured he was hanging around at the convenience store, telling tall tales and boasting of acts he only dreamed of actually doing. After nearly thirty minutes, Jack pulled up in front of their house. 

"You ain't gonna believe this shit!" Jack announced as he entered the door. "I fired this motherfucker last week. And he showed up at the Arab store when I got there. He drove up to my car and threatened me! He threatened to kill me. That motherfucker!"

"What did you do, Jack?" Martha asked. 

"I waited till that fucker drove off then I went in the store," Jack said. "I didn't see him when I came out. I don't want that motherfucker knowing where I live."

"Why was he threatening you?" Martha asked.

"Cause I fired his lazy ass," Jack responded.

Jack cracked open a Steele Reserve and downed half of it in one swallow. "I'll be back," Jack said and then went out the front door. Jack walked next door to visit with a fellow he called Goldie. The police were often raiding Goldie's house. Martha did not know why the cops raided Goldie's house and she did not want to know. Jack returned from his visit with Goldie about 20 minutes later.

"I'm going to get that little motherfucker who threatened me," Jack announced. "All it will cost me is $200. I'm gonna get his ass."

"What are you talking about, Jack?" Martha asked.

"I can get that fucker taken out of the game and it will only cost $200," Jack said proudly.

"Jack," Martha said. "Are you talking about hiring someone to hurt that fellow?"

"Oh he's going to get hurt alright," Jack laughed. "Goldie knows a dude who will do it for me. No questios asked." 

Martha was stunned. For a few seconds she was utterly speechless. "Jack!" Martha said. "You did not try to hire someone to kill that man?"

Jack laughed.

"Jack, look. If you are afraid of that man call the police. If he is harassing you make a report and get a restraining order," Martha explained. "Are you crazy? You can't hire some crackhead for $200 to commit murder because some guy is harassing you!"

"Bitch!" Jack shouted. "I ain't no cop calling motherfucker!"

"No," Martha agreed. "You are a crackhead hitman hiring motherfucker and you are going to end up in prison! Are you crazy?"

"Bitch I'll kill you and I don't need no crackhead to do it!" Jack spat at her.


It wasn't until after Martha left Jack that she learned the real reason the man at the Arab store was threatening Jack. According to one of his co-workers, Jack made the man front him dope at work on threat of firing him. When the fellow refused to front anymore drugs to Jack, Jack fired him. The man ran into Jack at the Arab store and threatened to kill Jack unless he paid him. Martha would think back on that time and thank the Universe that she and Mikey were not killed because a drug dealer decided to spray the house because Jack did not pay his drug debts. 


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