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20 January 2014

You Abuse Your Children When You Abuse Their Mother

I have always been dismayed that most family court judges grant unsupervised visitation rights to men who have been proved or admitted to abusing their partners. Even if he never hits his children, he has abused them by abusing their mother. He has abused them by demonstrating the wrong way to be a father and intimate partner. He has abused them with his verbal abuse toward their mother. He is a role model of how to get what you want by hurting women. 

Abusive men should not be permitted to have unsupervised contact with their children until they have successfully completed violence counseling. Children suffer terribly when their mother is abused. You may think you are hiding it from them or that they are too young to realize what is going on, but you are wrong. Children know and they suffer.

Courts need to take into account the damage caused to children when they witness or hear their father abusing their mother. Children are harmed emotionally and psychologically. They experience fear, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and often blame themselves because they cannot protect their mother from the abuse. As the abuse continues, children may even come to blame their mother for causing or not being able to prevent the violence. They suffer physical as well as emotional ailments, such as sleep disturbances and stomach problems. Children who grow up in violent homes are more likely to have trouble at school, get involved in drugs and alcohol, engage in delinquent behavior and to become abusers themselves.
Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused, especially by their fathers, grow up with a role model of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and violence over the other person to get their way. Source "Effects of Domestic Violence on Children."

Break the chains of domestic violence. Stop the cycle now. Get out for yourself and for your children before it's too late and the next generation of abusers is created. If you are being abused and you have children in your home, please read the article, Effects of Domestic Violence on Children


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